Thoughts about grieving...

One of my best friends' mom, Nancy (who I also consider a dear friend) told me about the Mormon Channel and "Conversations."  I was so glad she shared these with me. I listend to Elder Wickman and Elder Bowen. I have linked their conversations if you feel so inclined to listen. They both have been through the tradgedy of losing children at a young age. They each had something I wanted to remember that really stuck out to me.
Elder Shane M. Bowen. said:
"Keep that eternal perspective and realize that we have everything...There is nothing wrong with crying. Sometimes you just have to cry. But it gets better... But keeping your covenants is where the peace comes."

The eterinal perspective I have gives me the strength to move forward each day. I also could relate to the comment, "Sometimes you just have to cry!"

Elder Lance B. Wickman said:
"Adam(his son) made no improvement...finally, one morning after a fitful night..I spoke to the Lord and told him that we wanted our little boy to return to so very much, but nevertheless what we wanted most was for His will to be done and that we (Pat and I ) would accept that. Adam crossed the threshold into the eternities a short while later. Frankly we still grieve for our little boy, although the tender ministering of the spirit and the passage of the years have softened our sadness... . But Pat and I know that his path through mortality was intended by a kind Heavenly Father to be shorter and easier than ours and that he has now hurried on ahead to be a welcoming presence when we likewise eventually cross that same fateful threshold."

I could deeply relate to this. We also had to come to that realization that we were willing to accept Heavenly Father's will for us and Tacen and that it wasn't that he would stay with us, but that he would move on. I also appreciated hearing him say that they STILL grieve their little boy! Having gone through this and continuing to do so I know that we will always grieve and miss our sweet boy! Which leads me into my next though!
My good friend Heather S., sent me this the other day:

"If you feel that because you grieve you must lack faith in eternal things, just remember the precious moment of President Hinckley grieving his beloved Marjorie. Love means it's okay to miss them in the meantime."

This really touched me! I know that it's ok to miss my sweet boy, but it really helps to hear it every now and again and to have so many people around me who care so deeply and have shown us so much love and support. We couldn't continue on without the support and love of our family and friends!

Tacen's Headstone is In!

While we were in the Smokie's our family friends Tim and Lori called to let us know that while they were at the cemetary visiting Lori's Dad's grave they saw Tacen's headstone put in. We are so pleased with out it turned out! It looks great and represents our sweet boy very well. We have yet to see it in person. We are hoping to see it in August, but until then we are thankful for the power of technology and the chance to see pictures! 

Mother's Day

I was sitting thinking this morning what a special treat Mother's Day was last year. Because Daxon made his debut 16 days early I was able to have one special Mother's Day with both my boys! Little did I know then that it would be my only Mother's Day with both my boys.

I was also thinking about how it was tough with both my boys. Tacen was a hard toddler with his extra needs and Daxon was a fussy baby, but those were some of the happiest days together as the 4 of us. Whether not Tacen is here with us or not he will always be my son and I will always be his mother! I will forever be thankful for the lessons I learned from my sweet boy and the blessing of being his mother! I will cherish that always! Today at church a speaker shared a poem/story about a child coming to this earth and how his/her mother would be his/her angel. I thought how my sweet boy is now my angel! 

I read this: "He made me a mother, before that I was just a nice lady." on a friend's blog and it got me thinking about the truthfulness of that statement. Motherhood is a special gift! It changes a person or at least it has changed me! It's a precious gift. On this Mother's Day I'm grateful to be Tacen's mother! I'm also grateful each day for my Dax and the joy and life he brings! What a blessing motherhood is to me! I wouldn't trade the time with my boys for anything! I wouldn't trade being home with my children and being their mother for all the riches of the world. It is what I know I am meant to do with my life right now. I will forever be grateful that I was able to be home with Tacen and spend my days with him while he was here upon the earth.