Happy 7th Birthday

Dear Tacen! 

Happy 7th birthday Tacen Cade Kowallis, my sweet boy! 7 years ago you made me a mother and you haven't stopped blessing my life since that day! I laid awake thinking the other night wondering what you'd be like as a 7 year old. I can't imagine it! I still think of you as my cute 2.5 year old boy! I often wish we could know what it was like to raise you now! 

When Lula May was born I realized we have the perfect family! 2 boys and 2 girls! I'll be wishing you we're here with us every day until I can hug you again!!! Daxon often reminds me that you're his big brother! He knows and loves you in such a tangible way!!! Iszella knows you and loves you. She's especially appreciative to know you're watching over her and helping to keep her safe. She gets scared often now and it means the world to her to know you're watching out for her! I know you are always near and it's truly a blessing!!! 

We had planned to bless Lula May at church on your birthday, but I came down with a nasty stomach bug instead that wiped me out for the day! We did eat rice on Saturday night thinking of you and we sent you 7 balloons for your birthday! We are planning to go to the lake on the 4th so we'll get our traditional water fun in a little later this year! 

This year the grief that always strikes by your birthday hit me a little out of no where! We have been insanely busy with our basement project and adding Lula May to our family. I haven't had the time I normally have to sit and reflect and give enough of my thoughts to you!!! But as always grief strikes even if I don't have the proper time to offer it!!! We miss you buddy! Not a day passes where I don't think of you!!! I'll always wish you were here with us and wonder what it would be like to have you at each age!!! I'd love to see your personality grow with your age!!! See what your interests are! I sat wondering if your hair would be really dark like daddy's now or if it would still be a lighter brown. Would you still have bright blue eyes or would they have changed to green like mine did when I was 7 or 8? Would you still love cars or would you have moved on to other hobbies and loves! Most of all I wonder what it would be like to have our family whole and not have a little piece of my heart missing! 

Happy birthday buddy! 

Love, Mom