5 Years

Dear Tacen

Its been 5 years since I saw your sweet face! 5 years since I kissed those cheeks, smelled your sweaty head after naps, watched you play with cars for hours. 5 years since I heard you ask for your baba and kankey (blankey) dots up ready for snuggles and milk! 5 years where there's a little piece of me missing because you are gone. 5 years too long! 5 years since you were here with us! My sweet boy I sure miss you! I'd love nothing more than to see those bright blue eyes, give you a big hug and have you here with us.
I know sweet boy you are near us more more often than not. We feel you watching over us and we love you so for it. I feel blessed to have our own guardian angel.  Someone who knows and loves us.
Iszella has been talking about you a lot lately! She knows you are her brother and that you are in heaven with Jesus. She asks quite often how she is going to be able to get you down from heaven so you can be with us or when you will come back.
Daxon saw a picture of our family where I super imposed you in with us and Daxon said, "mom Tacen came down! Did Tacen come down?" They love you so much! They are doing their best to understand why you can't be here right now and they long for the day that you'll be back with us just like your dad and I do!
I found myself over the last couple weeks as I often do wondering what you would be like now. I wonder who your friends would be, what your disposition would be like. What would you like to do? What would you have dressed up like for Halloween? Would your hair be dark like Cade's? So many things left unknown.
I wish so much that I could just see you and be with you for just one more minute! I wish for nothing more. I sometimes have dreams with you in and I wake with a big smile on my face knowing that for those brief moments I got to be with you in the closet way possible right now.
I hope you know that we love you so much. We wish so much that you could be here with us still, but we know where you are and we know that you are doing what you need to be doing right now. I can't wait to be back all together someday. I'm glad to know that are 5 years closer to seeing you! I'm thankful that you are part of our family. I'm thankful to have such a perfect boy as my son! You are such an incredible example to me and I love you so much!
All my love!
Mom