Like a Dream

I had so many amazing memories of Tacen! I can look around our home and picture him everywhere! I often look around and remember how he used to play and what he would do. I love and cherish those memories! I love our little home because it was the last place Tacen was with us on this earth! I love the time we were able to have with him here!
That all being said I'm very grateful for my memories, but my mortal mind is well, mortal and unfortunately each day Tacen becomes just that. . . A memory! It sometimes feels like the last 3 1/2 months have been years. It feels like an eternity since I saw, held and played with my sweet boy! It feels like a distant dream. One that I remember quite well, but that ends.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but its how I can describe how I'm feeling about all of this. I will forever remember Tacen. He will live on through Cade and I and the memories we have. We want to make sure all of his siblings know him and who he is/was! He will always be a very important part of our family. We will always love him and cherish the time we had with him. Most of all we will ALWAYS miss him. But life goes on because it has to. We got on to be good parents to Daxon. We go on so we can do the best we can to get back our sweet boy.  Most of the time though I wish I could have a few more minutes of that beautiful dream...someday...someday!

Tacen Jewelry

When Tacen passed away I wanted something that I could keep with me that would remind me of him. Cade and I talked about it and we both decided we'd like rings. Cade had a very specific design in mind. We got my engagement ring from SE Needhams. We  were able to design my ring just how we wanted it. We knew that's what we wanted to do with our Tacen rings. We knew we could design then just how we wanted them.  We went in December while we were in Utah and got them designed. We had a few snags along the way (I think mostly because of long distance). They had them both done and ready to ship out and then they realized that Cade's got sized to a 5 some mistake in their cad program. So his will still be a couple weeks, but I got mine in the mail today and I LOVE it!

I also wanted to show my beautiful necklaces. We had some very thoughtful people give me beautiful necklaces and I LOVE wearing them around. I love my jewelry and the little pieces of Tacen I can have with me to remember him!

Happiness

I was reading the February Ensign and I found this:
That leads them to ask questions such as “Why are you so happy?” or “Why do you always have such a positive attitude?” The answers to these questions, of course, lead perfectly into a conversation about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. - February First Presidency Message

It really got me thinking. I have been asked since Tacen passed away, "How can you be happy? How are you smiling?" The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its teachings are what allow me to be happy. I truly am happy in my life! Right after Tacen passed away I didn't realize it as much as I should have, but all of the strength and happiness I found and continue to find are because of my Savior Jesus Christ, My Heavenly Father and His restored church here upon the earth. Through a loving Heavenly Father, he created an infinite plan for us. A plan where we are organized into loving families and where we can be together forever. This life is not the end! This knowledge helps me to have the strength to go on each day. It helps me to know that any of the joys and opportunities we've missed out on now with Tacen we'll have every experience and joy with him one day. It's just been put on hold for now. That brings me happiness! It's not over! Because of my Savior his sacrifice and resurrection all will be made right. And we will have every opportunity with Tacen one day! How can that not make me feel happy? So that's how I smile and show happiness! Because I have so much to be happy about!