Shining Star

Shining Star

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Each Day is a Blessing

About a week and half before Tacen passed away he started throwing up very inconsistently. That coupled with his regression in walking really alarmed me and Cade. It made no sense! When they began figuring out (as much as they were able to) what was going on they discovered that due to the excess fluid which caused his spine to stroke out, it was pushing up into his brain and causing the part of his brain which told him to throw up to be without oxygen. That is why he was throwing up so very sporadically.
That being said whenever Daxon throws up (it doesn't happen very often thankfully), it sends me back to that time. I worry so much that something bigger is the matter. The Christmas after Tacen passed away we were flying home for the holidays and Daxon threw up once on the plane. It worried Cade and I a great deal.
Yesterday morning Dax threw up. He was really worked up (I was making him sit in his seat to eat breakfast) and I thought he had worked himself up so much he'd thrown up. When he threw up again a couple hours later I began to think that was something ailing him. Long story short he had the stomach flu. He threw up 4 times yesterday, but is doing well today(thank the heavens)!
You see when Tacen was throwing up I never in my wildest dreams would have linked it to what was really causing it. Kids throw up. Adults throw up (I have been throwing up for the past 4 months straight)! So when Tacen began throwing up I didn't think anything of it. However, after all we went through with Tacen my bubble of security isn't as big as it used to be. Therefore, when Daxon throws up, I immediately worry! You see I need him! I need him desperately! He's my little sunspot in my cloudiest of days and he's my little sunspot in my happiest of days. He brings me so much light and joy!
Losing Tacen has really opened my eyes to how fragile life really is. Overall, I have learned a great deal from this. I have been stretched! Most days its so much easier for me to let the mess slide, the house not be as clean as I might like it. I give in to Daxon, because some battles just aren't worth fighting. I know how fast things can change and that has brought new perspective in my life.
Bottom line is no matter how frustrated I can get with how strong-will and tempered my cute Daxon is or how tired he may make me. I love him. I need him! I hate seeing him sick! I hate worrying about losing him! But I love him! He's one of Heavenly Father's greatest blessings and tender mercies in my life. I really don't think I would have gotten to this point after losing Tacen without him. So each day he's healthy. Each day he walks and runs and is just my normal little boy! I am thankful! Because each day is a blessing!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thinking on the Ressurection

Cade and I were reading together the other evening for our couple's scripture study and we were reading in Doctrine and Covenants section 88 verse 97 really stuck out to me! In the verses right before this they are talking of the second coming and what will commence! Verse 97 reads:

97 And they who have slept in their graves shall come forth, for their graves shall be opened; and they also shall be caught up to meet him in the midst of the pillar of heaven--

 (D&C 88:97)

Also, I remember the talk Like A Broken Vessel by Elder Holland, being given in October 2013 General Conference. When it was given the part below stood out to me. We went over this in our Relief Society lesson last Sunday and again this part stood out to me.

"I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.”12 Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show “compassion one of another,”13  (Like a Broken Vessel)"

I love reading things like this and thinking of my sweet Tacen coming forth and being able to see him again! I also enjoy thinking about how he'll be able to walk and run without restraint. He won't have the mortal struggles he faced in this life! What a beautiful picture that paints in my mind!  I'm so very grateful for the knowledge I find in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For my testimony not only of eternal families, but also of the resurrection and the glorious day when I can be reunited with my son in his perfected state! What a blessing to have modern day prophets and the gospel restored!