Silver Linings

I've been kind of quiet around here on Tacen's blog. Not for one particular reason, just life getting in the way and being totally exhausted this pregnancy, really any combination of things!
I've been thinking lately about silver linings. Reasons to find gratitude in my life in spite of things not being how I might have wanted them to be! One those was this past week, Daxon and Iszella have had coughs/colds and Dax had an ear infection. I was thinking about how had we not miscarried we would have had our baby by now and how grateful I am that I'm not worried about keeping our newborn healthy right now while the kids are fighting off these bugs.
Then tonight, Iszella is afraid of monsters. There is not reasoning with her. She thinks there are monsters and you can't tell her there aren't. So we've read the book "Go Away Big Green Monster" several times and we talk about how we can tell the monsters to go away. Iszella was talking about monsters tonight and being scared. We read our book and told them to go away, then we sprayed some special monster spray around her room that they really don't like and we said a prayer. After we finished our prayer I explained how lucky Iszie was that she has a big brother in heaven who knows and loves her and how Tacen would keep her safe! She looked at me with her sweet, innocent eyes and said, "Tacen loves me?" I said Tacen loves you very much sweetheart. She replied, "Tacen will help me feel better?" Me, "yes, he will!" You know I wouldn't wish losing a child on anyone and honestly if I could have Tacen here I would love to, but how many children get to know that they have a special big brother watching out for them? Not a lot! I think that's pretty lucky to know when you are scared or afraid you know that your brother Tacen is in heaven looking out for you too! It's a silver lining to some so hard as losing a child. But I love more than anything talking to our children about Tacen and them knowing how special he is in their lives!