You would be six today! Happy Birthday my sweet boy! Its hard to imagine what you would be like at six. I imagine you would be wrecking havoc and causing trouble with your brother and sister! Something I long for quite often. I wish I could take a peak for just a moment at what might have been if you were still here with us. Its hard for me to imagine!
We all miss you. Daxon talks about you often! He says things like, "Mom I miss Tacen I wish he could come down with us!" He recently found and extra pillow in his closet and he put it on his bed and said, "That's for Tace so when he comes down he can sleep with me and I will give him his b (blanket) back." Daxon has been sleeping with one of your blankets the last 6 months or so. I am constantly amazed at how much he thinks about and speaks of you! He knows and loves you and I am so grateful for that! One of my biggest fears from the moment you passed away was forgetting. I didn't want to forget anything about you and I didn't want others to forget you. I know that time has made my memories fade, but you are definitely not forgotten!
Iszella is starting to talk more of you too! She loves to talk about how I am her mom. Then she begins listing, "Iszie's mom! Tacen's mom! Daxon's mom!" She knows and loves you!
The kids love to go to the cemetery or your special place as we've started calling it. Daxon has noticed that their are other graves and he knows that those people also have special places and they are in heaven with you. He's a smart boy! The kids always climb on your headstone, which at first I wasn't sure if that was ok, but then I realized that it was their only way of playing with you and its an endearing sight for me to see!
Tacen as I think about the day you were born and the two birthdays we got to spend with you I am reminded of all the joy you brought into our lives! The day you were born you made your dad and I so happy and so proud. We were so excited to be parents and you fulfilled that dream for us! You were stubborn and made us wait for what seemed like forever the last month of my pregnancy, but that first time I held you in my arms it was all worth it. You instantly had me with your bright blue eyes and dark hair!
On you first birthday I recall playing so joyfully in the water and digging right into your cake! You had a smile on your face most of the day! That contagious smile of yours!
On your second birthday I think about how I went a little overboard on your birthday party. I guess that's what happens with your first! I made car shaped crayons, race tracks, cars frozen in water and more than I can recall! I remember being thankful after you passed away that your last birthday was a big one! We were so happy to celebrate you! Your love for cars was a big part of who you are! Along with those big blue eyes and that smile!
I am so unbelievably grateful for the time we got to have with you! 28 months wasn't long enough, but as I've thought back on it all I realize our time could have gotten cut short much sooner! It was such a blessing we had you with us as long as we did! We learned so much from you! You allowed me the privilege of being a mother! You taught me to never give up, but to think I can and keep going! I still am learning things from you and your example and zeal for life!
We wish every day that you could still be here with us, but I feel you near often and that is a blessing I hold dear to my heart! I know you are never far and I can't wait until the day I can hold you in my arms again! I just might not let go! Happy happy birthday my sweet boy! I hope you always know how much we love you and I hope perhaps you are having some angel food cake for your birthday! We love you so much!
Love,
Mama
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