Comfort In, Dump Out!

My friend just sent me a link to this article. and I LOVED it! I can relate to this article on a number of levels. As we've gone through losing our son I have often had to stop myself and catch my tongue so I don't say something I'll regret, yet I often don't feel like I get this same courtesy from others. I've had people tell me that they're pretty sure they're having a harder time than I am or that this has been hard on them and their family too, this hasn't just affected me! As I've gotten different responses it often stops me in tracks and feels like a blow, but I have tried to let it go and move forward. I remember being around others who had lost loved ones especially children and babies and knowing that I didn't do or say the right thing. That being said I've tried to remember that as we've gone through the loss of Tacen and recognize that this is a plain out hard situation! But I love reading stuff like that article and sharing it to help others. I often wish I had been able to read things like this before so I would have known the right things to say or not to say.
My Aunt LuAnn gave a lesson in Relief Society. She was giving the lesson on the General Conference talk given by Shayne M. Bowen title, Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also. My Aunt wrote and asked me if could share any suggestions on things to say or not to say. One thing that Cade and I both agree on is that it's better to say something than to say nothing. Simply saying, "I'm sorry." "We love you." "I/We've been thinking about you." "You've been on my mind." Is so much better than ignoring it entirely. Mostly, going back to the above mentioned article. I've learned that I get a "get out of jail free" card whenever I want (Cade too) because this is hardest and closest to us. He is our son. We were used to having him in our life every single minute of every day and because of that we get to react how we want to. We get to do things the way we want to and that's how it should be. That doesn't mean I get to be mean, but it means that Cade and I get to handle this the way we choose to and if someone doesn't like that I guess I need to be ok with that. I'm trying my hardest to deal with this rough situation and come out on top and some days that requires all the strength I can muster! There...ramble done!