Every Dream Fulfilled

The other night I had a dream. In my dream Tacen was with us. He was a four year old boy, just like he would be now if he hadn't passed away, and he and Daxon were running around and playing together. It took me a minute in my dream to wrap around this thought.  Watching Tacen, he was a good couple inches taller than Daxon. Which didn't make sense because Daxon is now 6.5 months older than Tacen was when he passed away, but as my dream continued I realized Tacen was 4 not 2.5 years old like I can picture him. The way I know he'll come back as he is resurrected.

I've always love this “Children … must rise just as they died; we can there hail our lovely infants with the same glory--the same loveliness in the celestial glory.”

President Joseph F. Smith, the sixth President of the Church, reported: “Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and, pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: ‘You will have the joy, the pleasure and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.’ …"

Chapter 14: Words of Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death

This thought has given me more peace and hope than I can explain over the last almost 2.5 years. I love knowing that I can see my sweet Tacen just as he was and that one day I will be able to raise him. We have officially been without Tacen longer than he was here. How is that possible? We really didn't get to have Tacen with us long enough so I can't wait to get to raise him some day! Tangent...back to my dream.

As one of His latter-day witnesses, I testify that He lives today. He is a resurrected Being. He is our Savior, our Lord, the very Son of God. I testify that He will come again as our glorified, resurrected Lord. That day is not far distant. To all who accept Him as Savior and Lord, His literal resurrection means that life does not end at death, for He promised: “Because I live, ye shall live also." -President Ezra Taft Benson
Chapter 6: Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer

One of the best parts for me was seeing Tacen being able to run. If you didn't know Tacen, he couldn't really run. He had some balance problems and usually walked with one arm behind his back to help keep his balance. So seeing him, even if just in my dream, running was so wonderful. That's how I picture him now running all around with that big smile on his face! Here's a video from September 2012 of him playing on our driveway.

My other favorite part was seeing him running and playing with Daxon because that's something I really feel like we all missed out on! They were chasing each other and laughing and just having the best time. This is much how I imagine things to be if Tacen were still here. That is one of the things I long for most is for Tacen and Daxon to get to be brothers growing up together. Being each other's friends and playing together! So for that small moment it was wonderful and absolutely perfect to imagine what that would have been like and also to see Tacen running!  Just the other day I had this blog pulled up on the computer and the picture of Tacen was there. Daxon said, "there's my Tacen! I miss him! He's just I am a child of God." Meaning he's with Heavenly Father. I'm thankful as we've tried to teach Daxon of Tacen that he's getting to know him! It's very important to us that our other children know Tacen and how important is he to us. That he's there brother! I am happy that he at least kind of understands that he's in heaven.  That he knows who he is and that he loves him. He misses him just like we do!
I have this picture:

On my phone for the background and Iszella was looking at it the other day and the largest smile came across her face. I like to believe she knows Tacen. Remembers him probably. I loved seeing her face light up from seeing a picture of her brother! I want her to know her brother too!

You know what is so amazing? I know one day that Tacen will be resurrected! I know I will see him again. In that day he will run and laugh and play! He will be perfect without the physical challenges he faced here on earth! Then in that moment all my dreams will be fulfilled and I'll get to see him again! I'll get to hold him! I'll get to see him running and smiling and having all the experiences that for now have been put on hold. That is the day I long for! When that day does come my joy will be full! But until that time I'll cherish the nights when T visits my dreams and I get a glimpse of what could have been!