My Boy

Saturday (2.13.16) this photo popped up on Facebook as a memory. I've had a lot of thoughts running through my mind the last week or so I just want to get written out! One being that I LOVE talking about Tacen if you know me at all you will know that I still bring up Tacen and he is still apart of regular conversations in my life. He's my boy! He ALWAYS will be. I still am floored sometimes at the reactions that I get when I bring him up! The most common is for the person to whom I am speaking to pretty much freeze and not say anything about Tacen. I've always understood that its a difficult subject, yet I've always felt that its most difficult for me and if I want to talk about him then you should be ok with it. Maybe that's not the right approach, but that's how I feel. It's hard not having him a here and I just want to talk about him like I do our other children!

Second thought as this picture popped up its hard for him to just be a memory. He's not a reality right now and that's hard. It's hard to know what was and what could be, but not have it right now.

Third thought is my heart has just been aching for my boy over the last week or so. It just hits me at very different, but distinct times! Tears come to my eyes and I just feel the ache that loss brings. I don't always understand what triggers this, but I know my heart aches. I know I miss him and I think of him often! I just wish he were still here! So for now I love that these memories can still pop up and I can still see pictures and videos of this sweet boy of mine!