One year

One year ago today our sweet Tacen returned back to our Father in Heaven after just 28 short months of life here on earth! Not a day goes by that we don't think about and miss him. 

As I've gone through the past year my goal has been and continues to be able to find the little positives that have come from losing Tacen. I was talking to Cade recently about a talk from General Conference by Elder Dube. He uses a story about not looking back and relates it to our opportunities to serv in the church. It made me think though that looking back over the past year helps me to learn a lot. 

For one I made it. After Tacen passed away it was all I could do to take it one day at a time, but I survived a year. Surely that helps me to see I can make it another. 

I remember as I watched friends of ours loose children thinking I could NEVER do that. But it's amazing what you can do when you have to! I can do hard things!

Here are somethings I learned about myself over the past year. I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be(even though some moments, days or even weeks I don't feel that way). 

My testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is stronger! My relationship with my Savior is stronger because it is through him that I have made it through! 

My testimony of the plan of salvation is stronger! 

My love for an all knowing Heavenly Father is stronger. He knows how to comfort me. He knows who I need to help me and give me strength here! He knows me! He has blessed us in countless ways! 

My desire to do the best I can each day so I can be with my sweet Tacen again is stronger! 

My resolve to be thankful each day for the time I have with family is stronger! Life is short and you never know how long you have! 

I am a better version of me than I was a year ago! I can't change that Tacen is gone. If I could Heaven knows I would do so in a second! But I can try to learn and grow and become better! 

I continue to be thankful each and every day that we had the blessing to have Tacen in our home as long as we did. 28 months will never feel long enough, but I will FOREVER be grateful for those 28 months. Tacen taught me so much in that short time. To be his mother is a blessing I will always hold close to my heart! I love that boy! Being his mother was/is a gift. Learning from his precious example is a gift! Remembering him is a gift! How blessed we are to have him as a part of our Eternal Family and to have an angel watching out for us. I have felt his influence many times through the past year! I know he's closer than I often realize! We miss you sweet boy, always!