I've had some experiences over the past almost year and a half that have taught me how I like to talk about Tace! I had one experience about 3-3 1/2 months after Tacen passed away. I was with a woman and her child who I knew, knew of our situation and one I was unsure of. Most of our visit I sat there wanting to talk about Tacen and experiences I had enjoyed while raising him as the other moms talked about normal experiences with two year olds.
I sat rather uncomfortable and saddened as I was unsure to bring him up or not. Then it hit me bring him up already! He's a big part of my life! I learned that day and a few others that for me it's best to talk about him. I need that.
As a side note I'm used to the distressed looks or sad eyes I receive when someone finds out for the first time about Tace. But what I'm so grateful for is the people around me who know our situation who lived through it with us, whether literally or were just in our lives at the time, who let me talk about Tacen. The ones who don't get all sad and treat me differently because I brought him up!
You see he's no different than any other child with the exception that his time on earth was short and now for a season we are separated!
He was a normal baby who we had to let cry it out so we could survive the days.
He was a normal baby/toddler who had foods he liked and didn't like. He was a normal child who had meltdowns and pitched fits when things didn't go his way.
He was a normal boy who liked to watch TV and play with his toys! He was a normal boy who was drawn to dirt, mud, water, etc. Because he was a normal boy!
Because he is an important part of my life! Because he lived! Because I NEVER want to forget him! Because he's my child, I want to talk about him and I'm so grateful when I can! I'm grateful when those around me let me do so and don't have to make it a horrible, sad thing every time I mention his name! Because he was such a happy boy and I want to talk about that. That's a happy thing! He's a happy memory and I just want to share a small part of the joy he brought into my life by making me a mother and be happy that he lived as I remember all the "normal" parts of motherhood he allowed me to experience!
He was a normal baby who we had to let cry it out so we could survive the days.
He was a normal baby/toddler who had foods he liked and didn't like. He was a normal child who had meltdowns and pitched fits when things didn't go his way.
He was a normal boy who liked to watch TV and play with his toys! He was a normal boy who was drawn to dirt, mud, water, etc. Because he was a normal boy!
Because he is an important part of my life! Because he lived! Because I NEVER want to forget him! Because he's my child, I want to talk about him and I'm so grateful when I can! I'm grateful when those around me let me do so and don't have to make it a horrible, sad thing every time I mention his name! Because he was such a happy boy and I want to talk about that. That's a happy thing! He's a happy memory and I just want to share a small part of the joy he brought into my life by making me a mother and be happy that he lived as I remember all the "normal" parts of motherhood he allowed me to experience!
HOLY crap. That mud and toy car one?? SO flippin cute! I've never seen it before. He looks SOOO happy just sitting there. haha. Such random joy.
ReplyDeleteYay for happy memories!! I never met him, but it's obvious there are plenty of happy moments to remember and share! Love this post.
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