Change is Inevitable

We are getting ready to make a big move across the country at the end of the summer. We are also preparing to welcome a new baby into our family in just a few short months. These are some big family changes coming our way. Our little Dax will be two in a couple months and is quickly approaching the age of Tacen when he passed away. With this happening he will be wearing many of the clothes that Tacen wore not long before he passed away. Many of the clothes that we have so many wonderful memories of Tacen wearing.  Yesterday morning (2.18.14) it was a warm enough day I wanted to put Daxon in a short sleeve shirt. I went into Tacen's room to get him one and it was surprisingly more difficult than I expected! Tears began streaming down my face as I thought of Tacen in the shirts I was looking at hanging in "his" closet! It brought a lot of unexpected emotions.
When Tacen passed away we left everything pretty much the same in his room. We hung his shirts in his closet, left his rocking chair, his blankets, stuffed animals, pictures, etc. It's his room! We've loved referring to it as Tacen's room. We go in his room each evening and have scripture study and prayers with Daxon before he goes to bed. With the anticipation of a new little bundle of joy and with Daxon getting bigger we will soon (less than a month now) be moving him into Tacen's room. It will become his room. I know this is something we need to do, but it's hard at the same time. Cade and I discussed leaving Tacen's things hanging and what not. But with our move across the country whether we take them down now or in 6 months its going to happen. Leaving this home, the last place we were with Tacen, and moving forward in our lives will be very bittersweet. I keep hoping that as we make some small changes along the way maybe the biggest change of all won't be quite so difficult.
I had a precious moment a morning last week. I was looking out over our front yard while outside playing with Dax and thinking just how much I am going to miss this place. I then thought of all the wonderful memories we created with Tacen and the many wonderful things that have come to our family here. To name a couple the addition of Daxon and baby tuey to our family. But mostly I was pondering being able to look and see Tacen in so many places here. I felt the spirit whisper to me that those memories would always be there and he'd always be apart of our lives. He'd always be near. This is something I know, but it that moment it was a sweet tender mercy! I do miss that boy, but I'm thankful each day to have known him, loved him to and know that he is mine forever. Even if we are separated for a short time! Needless to say Change is Inevitable! But I'll do my best to keep smiling, because I know that's what Tacen did!